May 15, 2014
QW 24CHRISTOPHER PRIEST
Quantum & Woody #24 “The God Factor”
Full Script / 21 Pages
First Draft: January 5, 2000
v1 Revision: January 28, 2000
Synopsis: Woody makes a deal with the devil to rescue Quantum from himself, while their friends scramble to find a way to keep these two idiots form blowing up the universe.
Reference: Master Darque, Frank Seleski, Turok, Shadowman
Cover Suggestion: Disaster movie epic: Mid air battle between Woody Woodchuck and Quantum, a row of head shots along the bottom, copy: WHO will live-- and WHO will DIE?!
FROM ISSUE #23: WOODY, DESPERATE TO FIND A WAY TO HELP BRING QUANTUM (NOW VESTED WITH GODLIKE POWER) TO HIS SENSES, IS REFERRED TO SHADOWMAN BY TUROK. SHADOWMAN, IN TURN, SETS UP A MEETING BETWEEN WOODY AND THE ONE GUY WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP HIM.
Page 20
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Into The Darque”
1 EXT/BAR: BOURBON STREET, THE FRENCH QUARTER. VERY OLD, NARROW BUILDING JAMMED IN AMONG LIKE BUILDINGS (RENT JFK FOR GOOD REF ON NEW ORLEANS).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
2 WOODY: (From bar) ...and then the nun says, “That’s not an oboe, sir!”
2 CUT TO INSIDE: WOODY AT THE BAR, A MUG OF BEER IN FRONT OF HIM, SOME MONEY ON THE BAR. WOODY SMILING AT THE BARTENDER. THE BARTENDER LOOKS CREEPY AND EVIL AND DOES NOT SMILE.
3 WOODY: Oboe.
4 WOODY: Ohh-bow. Y’get it--?
5 WOODY: Ah-hah.
6 WOODY: Well, listen, I’m supposed to meet a guy here...
7 WOODY: (small) ...not that I have a habit of meeting guys...
8 WOODY: (small) ...not that there’s anything wrong with that...
3 THE CREEPY BARKEEP HANDS WOODY HIS MONEY BACK WHILE POINTING BEHIND WOODY WITH HIS FREE HAND. WOODY TURNING TO SEE WHAT THE BARKEEP IS POINTING AT.
9 WOODY: ...must lose something in translation into zombie...
10 WOODY: --huh?
(More)
4 NEW ANGLE: MASTER DARQUE SITS AT A SMALL BISTRO TABLE, GLARING THAT PRINCE GLARE AT US. PEOPLE MILLING ALL AROUND HIM BUT, EERILY, THERE IS AN UNDISTURBED, CLEAR PATH THROUGH THE CROWD TO HIS TABLE SO NO ONE IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW OF HIM.
MASTER DARQUE LOOKS VERY THIN, PRINCE HAIR, SHIRT OPEN REVEALING HIS BONY CHEST. I BELIEVE HE WEARS FRILLY FRENCH-LOOKING STUFF. MODEL HIM ON PRINCE.
USELESS COLOR NOTE SINCE DOC WON’T LEAVE COLOR NOTES: PLEASE PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON DARQUE, PULLING HIM OUT OF THE CROWD SOMEWHAT.
— no copy —
2-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE.
5 CUT TO WOODY AT THE BAR. WOODY LOOKING AT THE OFF-PANEL DARQUE. INTENSE EXPRESSION, SCRUTINIZING DARQUE. NOT SMILING HERE.
— no copy —
6 SAME: WOODY NOW LOOKS RIGHT AT US, BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL. DOC, HAVE HIM REMOVE HIS GLASSES HERE SO WE GET GOOD EXPRESSION. ONE EYEBROW RAISED, A MOCK GLARE.
11 WOODY: Of course, you realize, the mocking must commence immediately.
Page 21
1 DARQUE’s TABLE: WOODY SEATS HIMSELF WITH THE CHAIR REVERSED, LEANING FORWARD ON THE CHAIR BACK, SMILING AT DARQUE, AMUSED BY HIM.
1 WOODY: (Singing, add musical notes) Dig if you will a picture... of you and I engaged in a kiss...
2 WOODY: Hey. Just funnin’ ya.
3 WOODY: You got a name, or do you just use a phonetic symbol--?
2 DARQUE. AMUSED. GENTLE SMILE, NOT TOO BROAD.
NOTE TO OMAR: I HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER ABOUT THIS GUY!! SEND REF!!! I BEG THEE!!
4 DARQUE: I am called many things.
5 DARQUE: You want to discuss names or you want to save your friend.
6 WOODY: (Off) It’s not about my friend so much as my goat. And saving the planet--
7 DARQUE: This will not work if there is not complete truth between us.
3 ON WOODY, A HAND UP IN PROTEST WHILE HE TURNS WHICH WAY TO SEE WHO’s LISTENING.
8 DARQUE: (Off) You wish to save your friend. Because you love him.
9 WOODY: Hey-- hey-- hey-- let’s not talk about me “loving him” while I’m dressed in Spandex and you’ve got this Velvet Jones thing happening here.
10 WOODY: You gonna help me or not?
4 DARQUE FINISHES HIS DRINK.
11 DARQUE: Not.
12 WOODY: (Can be off) Hey-- hey--
13 DARQUE: I will, however, give you a chance to help yourself-- if you agree to me terms.
14 WOODY: Sure. Whatever. What do you want?
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY LEAVING, PRETENDING TO HAIL A CAB. DARQUE SITS NONCHALANTLY, LOOKING AT HIS EMPTY GLASS HELD IN HIS HAND.
15 DARQUE: Not much. Just a photograph of you.
16 WOODY: (Burst) TAXI!
17 DARQUE: You can save him, Woody. I can show you how--
6 EXT/BAR: WOODY EMERGES FROM THE BAR ONLY TO RUN INTO DARQUE OUTSIDE. DARQUE STILL NONCHALANTLY PONDERING HIS EMPTY GLASS
18 DARQUE: --if you meet my price.
19 WOODY: --?!? Huh? How did you--
20 DARQUE: Come with me and find out.
21 NEXT: NEXT: GOD VS. WOODCHUCK
Just when they thought they were out, they’re dragged back in...
— 30 —
Page 1
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “You Won’t Die”
1 CITY STREETS: RUBEN AND SIDNE CROUCHED ON A ROOFTOP, LOOKING DOWN AT SOMETHING OFF-PANEL. SIDNE HAS INTENSE EXPRESSION, RUBEN SHOWS NO EMOTION.
AN UNEARTHLY GLOW FROM BELOW (THEY ARE LOOKING AT THIS ETHEREAL LIGHT).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
2 SIDNE: (Whisper) There--
3 SIDNE: (Whisper) --Turok’s Tek Bow. The only weapon that can banish dinosoids back to the Lost Land.
4 SIDNE: (Whisper) Now’s our chance--
5 RUBEN: (Whisper) Money--
6 RUBEN: (Whisper) --now’s your chance.
7 RUBEN: (Whisper) My Latino *SQUEE* be stayin’ glued up in this piece.
2 WHAT THEY SEE: DOWN IN THE ALLEY: SEVERAL DINOSOIDS ENCIRCLE A LEADER DINOSOID. THE LEADER DINO HAS TUROK’s TEK BOW AND IS SMASHING IT REPEATEDLY ON THE GROUND, TRYING TO DESTROY IT.
THE BOW IS INDESTRUCTIBLE. THE STRING FROM THE BOW IS THIS BLUE COLOR HOLD DEAL (SEE REF), AND THIS IS THE SOURCE OF THE GLOW.
8 RUBEN: (Whisper, off) I doubt Marble Comics’ workers comp package covers being eaten by dinosoids.
9 SIDNE: (Whisper, off) Ruben--
10 SIDNE: (Whisper, attach) --you know I’m one-half of the composite being known as Solar. Frank Seleski, my partner, has vanished--
11 SIDNE: (Whisper, attach) --coincidentally around the time this “Quantum” gained god-like powers, and those beasties ambushed Turok and stole his bow!
3 IN CLOSER ON THESE TWO. SIDNE’s EYES FIXED ON THE ALLEY. GLOW FROM OFF.
12 SIDNE: (Whisper) As an intelligent, thinking man, can you doubt there’s some connection?
13 RUBEN: (Whisper) I’m not an intelligent, thinking man-- I’m a comic book editor.
14 RUBEN: (Whisper) And, of course I can see the connection, Sidne--
15 RUBEN: (Whisper) --it’s why Woody adopted me-- he thinks I can figure out where things are going.
4 ON RUBEN: STOIC EXPRESSION, PERHAPS THE GLOW REFLECTS IN HIS SUNGLASSES. NO BACKGROUND, DOC. LOTS OF ROOM FOR COPY.
16 RUBEN: (Whisper) Once they snatched his bow, Turok had to choose between letting the dinos overrun the Earth--
17 RUBEN: (Whisper) --or letting Quantum do it. You got a cosmic headache and volunteered us to get the bow back so the guys can go after Quantum--
18 RUBEN: (Whisper) --maybe because you’re sure defeating Quantum will somehow get Frank back so you two can re-create Solar--
19 RUBEN: (Whisper) --and save the universe from whatever’s going on in “the bigger picture.”
5 DOWN IN THE ALLEY: THE DINOS HEAD THROUGH A DOOR, TAKING THE TEK BOW WITH THEM. THE DINOS ARE TRANSFORMING INTO HUMAN FORM, BUT WE DO NOT SEE THE FINAL RESULT (DOC: THEY ARE CHANGING INTO WOMEN— GORGEOUS WOMEN— AS WE WILL SOON SEE).
20 RUBEN: (Whisper, Off) The main flaw in your plan, though, is the story could end a lot of different ways.
21 RUBEN: (Whisper, Attach) And, I’m not sure if this yarn is code-approved...
22 SIDNE: (Whisper) They’re heading in-- using holographic projectors to change to human form.
23 SIDNE: (Whisper, Attach) C’mon, Roo-- I promise you won’t die.
Page 2
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Still Here”
1 VIEW FROM BEHIND A GROCERY STORE SHELF. LOOKING OUT FROM BEHIND A ROW OF JARS. HEAVY SHADOWS ON THESE JARS TO HELP OUT THE STORYTELLING THAT WE’VE PLANTED OUR CAMERA DEEP BEHIND A GROCERY STORE SHELF.
SEVERAL ROWS OF JARS ARE MISSING, PROVIDING US AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OUT TO THE AISLE, CREATING A “LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL” EFFECT. DOC, IF I’VE LOST YOU, I CAN THUMBNAIL THIS. WE WILL SEE THESE MISSING JARS ARE PEANUT BUTTER JARS ERIC HAS BOUGHT OFF THE SHELF.
— no copy —
2 STAT. ONLY NOW, ERIC’S EYE PEERS AT US FROM THE AISLE, HE IS LOOKING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
3 STAT: ERIC’s HAND REACHES IN, FUTILELY SEARCHING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER. THERE IS NO MORE.
3 CAPTION: I want more.
4 CAPTION: I need more.
5 CAPTION: There is so much more to learn. That is why--
4 BREAK THE SPELL: ESTABLISH: ERIC STANDING IN THE AISLE AT GRISTEDES. HE HAS ONE OF THOSE MINI-SHOPPING CARTS THE CITY DWELLERS USE (NOT THE FULL-SIZE JOBS WE’RE USED TO, BUT AN ANEMIC MOCKERY OF THE STANDARD SUPERMARKET CART).
ERIC’S CART IS STACKED HIGH WITH PEANUT BUTTER JARS. HE’s CLEANED THE STORE OUT. HE’s LEANING IN, HIS ARM REACHING WAY BACK IN THE SHELF, LOOKING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
CURIOUS PASSERS BY GIVE ERIC A PUZZLED LOOK. ERIC STOIC, VERY ZEN, THIS IS A SPIRITUAL SOJOURN FOR HIM.
6 CAPTION: --I am here.
(More)
5 BACK TO BEHIND THE SHELF, ANGLE: RESUME STAT AND REPEAT OF THE SHELF. ERIC HAS WITHDRAWN HIS HAND AND IS NOW PEERING IN, KIND OF A PRINCE GLARE.
7 CAPTION: It is all so clear to me now.
8 CAPTION: Finally...
9 CAPTION: I... I can save them.
6 MORE OF THIS.
10 CAPTION: Save them.
11 CAPTION: Yes.
12 CAPTION: Finally, I can.
7 STAT PANEL 1: ERIC IS GONE.
13 CAPTION: It’s so simple.
14 CAPTION: The reason I exist.
15 CAPTION: The reason...
Page 3
(SPLASH) EXT/CITY STREETS: QUANTUM, FULL COSTUME, HEROICALLY ZOOMS UP AND AWAY FROM GRISTEDES. ONE ARM LOCKED, FIST POINTED BEHIND HIM, FIRING A BEAM OF ENERGY AT THE SHOPPING CART FULL OF PEANUT BUTTER (THE BEAM IS A TRACTOR BEAM, TOWING THE CART BEHIND HIM).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
1 CAPTION: ...I am here.
2 TAG LINE: RUBEN’S FANTASY CAMP
3 LOGO: QUANTUM AND WOODY in:
4 TITLE: THE GOD FACTOR
5 CREDITS: By:
M.D.
PRIEST & BRIGHT
STORY & ART
6 CREDITS:
Romeo Tanghal / inking · Pop VisualWerk / lettering · Digital Broome / colorist
Omar Banmally / editor
7 CREDITS: QUANTUM & WOODY created by Bright & Priest
Page 4
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “AlexannnDRAY”
3-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE:
1 PHOTO SHOOT: MEDIUM: WOODY IN SEXY PINUP GIRL POSE: STOOPED A LITTLE SO HIS BUTT IS STICKING OUT, GRINNING BROADLY FOR THE CAMERA.
2 WOODY: Howzis?
2 SAME ANGLE: WOODY IN EVEN SILLIER POSE.
3 WOODY: Maybe more of a Fabio deal?
3 SAME ANGLE: NEXT POSE.
4 WOODY: Take your time, big boy-- I gotta million of ‘em.
4 REVERSE ANGLE: MASTER DARQUE WITH HS CAMERA (ASK OMAR BECAUSE I STILL DON’T HAVE REFERENCE!!!). DARQUE CLEARLY ANNOYED AT WOODY’s ANTICS.
DOC: ASK OMAR WHAT DARQUE’s HOUSE LOOKS LIKE.
— no copy —
5 SAME: DARQUE WALKING OFF NOW.
5 DARQUE: Forget it.
6 DARQUE: You’re clearly not taking this seriously.
7 WOODY: (Off) Hey-- hey-- I resemble that remark--
6 ON WOODY: THE SILLIEST POSE YOU CAN IMAGINE.
8 WOODY: --I’m trying to hold up my end, fella. Literally.
9 WOODY: Just take the damned picture already.
Page 5
1 ON DARQUE, POURING HIMSELF A GLASS OF WINE OR WHATEVER. NOT LOOKING AT WOODY, NO EXPRESSION.
1 DARQUE: You came to me, remember?
2 DARQUE: A Shadowman named Michael LéRoi contacted me on your behalf, asking me to help you help your friend.*
3 DARQUE: All I ask is a simple trade.
4 FOOTNOTE: *last issue --Omar
2 NEW ANGLE: DARQUE GESTURES TOWARDS AN OPEN DOOR. ETHEREAL ENERGY COMES FROM THE DOOR, AND THROUGH THE DOOR WE SEE THE BAR IN NEW ORLEANS.
5 DARQUE: The bar in the French Quarter is through that door.
6 DARQUE: I suggest you go back there.
7 WOODY: (Off) Hey-- hey-- hold the phone, Mister Darkie--
8 DARQUE: Alexandre.
3 ON WOODY, NO LONGER POSING, GETTING ANNOYED NOW.
9 WOODY: Alayhannnn-DRAY.
10 WOODY: Look, I just met you, and you’re trading souls and taking pictures and making
deals...
11 WOODY: (Smaller) ...and cussing like a sailor, I might add...
(More)
4 DARQUE EXITS, ANNOYED.
12 WOODY: (Off) Whaddaya got for me? Give me one reason why I should take you seriously...
13 WOODY: (Attach, small letters) ...well, other than that dimensional door trick that brought me to your incredibly fey house...
14 DARQUE: Wait here.
15 DARQUE: Don’t touch anything.
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY: AFTER IMAGES AS HE RUSHES ABOUT THE ROOM TOUCHING EVERYTHING AS FAST AS HE CAN.
16 WOODY: [Ital. All quotes, please]
“Don’t touch anything.”
17 WOODY: “Follow me, I’ll take your picture.”
18 WOODY: “Trade me your soul.”
19 WOODY: “Do you think I look fat?”
20 WOODY: If the planet weren’t in dire distress, I’d actually be enjoying this--
Page 6
1 IN CLOSE: WOODY’s HAND HAS OPENED A CABINET, REVEALING FRANK SELESKI STUFFED INSIDE. SELESKI IS BOUND, SHOVED LENGTHWISE INTO SOME GOTH-LOOKING CABINET OF YOUR CHOICE. A GAG AROUND HIS MOUTH, BUT HE IS AWAKE. NOT PANICKED, JUST GRIM DETERMINATION IN HIS EYES.
DOC: SEE Solar: Hell On Earth #1 for REF ON THIS GUY. GREY AT THE TEMPLES, STRONG JAW, PIERCING EYES.
1 SELESKI: > mmffphh--!! <
2 WOODY: (Off) --whoops. Sorry, dude-- my bad.
2 SAME ANGLE: WOODY’s HAND SLAMS THE CABINET SHUT.
3 SFX: SLAMMM!!
4 WOODY: (Off) --just havin’ a little fun with your... “A... friend,” here.
5 WOODY: (Attach) Didn’t mean t’wake ya.
3 NEW ANGLE: WOODY SITTING IN SOME RIDICULOUSLY ORNATE CHAIR. BORED.
6 WOODY: > sigh <
7 WOODY: Y’know...
8 WOODY: ...some nice, eerie music would go well right about now.
9 WOODY: And a cookie.
10 WOODY: A really nice cookie... yes...
11 DARQUE: (Off) All right, Woody--
4 DARQUE RE-ENTERS, TOSSING A SMALL, ORNATE BOX AT WOODY. DARQUE STILL HAS HIS WINE GLASS.
12 DARQUE: --I believe this will solve your problem.
13 WOODY: Wow-- a really old, prissy-looking jewelry box! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that!
12 WOODY: Gee-- thanks, Mister Darkie-- you’re the greatest!
13 DARQUE: Look inside it, you idiot.
5 ON WOODY: HE’s GOT THE BOX OPEN BUT WE DO NOT SEE WHAT IS INSIDE. BRILLIANT LIGHT FROM INSIDE ILLUMINATES WOODY’s FACE.
14 WOODY: That’s Mahhster Id-EEE-yut to you...
15 WOODY: ...hey...
16 WOODY: ...is this... could this be what I think it is...?
Page 7
1 ON DARQUE: SMUG NOW.
1 DARQUE: Yes.
2 DARQUE: The key to the entire universe.
2 ON WOODY: STARING AT THE THING IN THE BOX.
— no copy —
3 STAT.
3 WOODY: Oh.
4 WOODY: No, I thought is was Jell-O.
5 WOODY: I love me some Jell-O.
4 ON DARQUE: HE’s GOT HIS CAMERA AGAIN.
6 DARQUE: Do you mind--?!
7 DARQUE: [Omar: please backstop me for terms of the deal]
With that, you can most certainly reverse the process that elevated Quantum’s powers.
8 DARQUE: In return, I collect my small fee...
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY POINTING AT THE DOOR TO THE BAR.
9 WOODY: Just had a thought... can you make that a doorway to anywhere--?
10 DARQUE: (Can be off) ...>sigh< ...yes.
11 WOODY: Backinasec.
Page 8
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “It’s Magic”
1 (TOP 1/2 OF PAGE) POSTER SHOT: THE GOAT COMES IN FOR A LANDING, APPROACHING QUANTUM & WOODY’s OFFICE BUILDING.
TEMPEST (IN COSTUME) IS BEING TOWED BY THE GOAT’s LEASH. SHE’s DAISY-CHAINED HERSELF TO WARRANT (IN COSTUME) WHO HOLDS HOLLY.
GIVE THIS SHOT A KIND OF STORYBOOK ELEMENT TO IT, DOC. I REMIND YOU WARRANT’s HAIR IS NOT ON FIRE.
2 TEMPEST: Okay.
3 TEMPEST: This is new...
4 TEMPEST: --anybody know when, exactly, the goat started flying?
2 CUT TO: INT/OFFICES: THE GOAT HAS PASSED THROUGH THE GLASS WALL WITHOUT BREAKING IT, TOWING THE THREE BEHIND HIM, WHO ALSO SHARE IN THE GOAT’S MAGIC (SIMPLY FROM BEING IN CONTACT).
THIS IS WOODY’s OFFICE.
5 WARRANT: I’d hazard a guess it is due to an energy re-structure-- a simple enough procedure if you go down enough sub-levels of matter lattice interlock. Holly--?
6 HOLLY: I concur. It is possible the animal’s sub-code has been restrung in accordance to the Heinklin-Robard theorem of--
3 TEMPEST HOLDS A GUN ON HOLLY.
7 TEMPEST: Shut up.
8 TEMPEST: Just say: “It’s magic. The goat flies, now.”
9 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat flies now.
10 TEMPEST: Thank you.
4 NEW ANGLE: WOODY’s OFFICE: NOBODY’s HOME.
11 WARRANT: You’d hoped the goat would lead us to Woody, Agent Sheridan. Looks like you were wrong.
12 TEMPEST: It’s a goat, Doc. It tends to have a mind of its own.
13 TEMPEST: If Woody’s not here, I’m sure he had a good reason for--
14 HOLLY: (Off) Yep-- and I found it, Tempest--
5 SLIVER PANEL: THE BATHROOM: THE GOAT TAKES A DRINK FROM THE TOILET. HOLLY LOOKING TOWARDS US, WHILE THUMBING BACK IN THE GOAT’s DIRECTION. SARCASTIC LOOK ON HOLLY’s FACE..
15 HOLLY: --though I’ll try and keep it simple for you.
Page 9
1 ERIC’s OFFICE: THE TRIO HAS ASSEMBLED IN THERE. NO GOAT. TRYING TO DECIDE THEIR NEXT MOVE.
1 TEMPEST: All right... Eric has the powers of a God.
2 TEMPEST: He’s already mucking with the structure of the universe and, according to you geniuses, is tampering with the fabric of all existence.
3 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat just flies now.
4 TEMPEST: Still got my gun, *SQUEE*.
2 ON WARRANT: DOC, HE’s STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A VILLAIN, NOW.
5 TEMPEST: (Off) Okay, Doc, what’s our next move?
6 WARRANT: Harada.
7 WARRANT: We get to Harada-- reverse the process--
8 WARRANT: --restore my power-- then--
3 CUT TO: WOODY’s OFFICE: WOODY EXITS THE DOOR TO ERIC’S “STUPID LAB.” BIG GRIN ON HIS FACE. REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS TAPED AROUND THE DOOR FRAME.
9 WARRANT: (Off) -- Quantum shall answer...
10 WOODY: Baby!!
11 WOODY: Man-- are you a sight for sore eyes!
12 OVER DOOR: ERIC'S STUPID LAB
13 ON DOOR: BEHIND THIS DOOR IS A HIGH-TECH, SECRET LAB. GO RIGHT IN!
14 ARROW POINTING AT DOOR: LOOK! NO LOCKS!
15 ARROW POINTING AT DOOR: GO IN AND MESS WITH HIS CRAP!
(More)
4 WOODY LEADS THE GOAT BACK THROUGH THE DOOR TO ERIC’s LAB.
16 WOODY: I missed you! Everything okay, fella? Huh?
17 WOODY: That mean ol’ Eric feeding you--?
18 WOODY: C’mon, Vince-- let’s go deal with that jerk.
5 BACK IN ERIC’s OFFICE: AMY FISHBEIN HAS ARRIVED. WRY GRIN ON HER FACE, WONDERING WHAT’s GOING ON. SMART SKIRT SUIT OR SOME OTHER SUCH “GROWN UP” CLOTHES. THE TRIO REACT TO A NEW ARRIVAL.
19 AMY: ...And, why wasn’t I invited to the
party--?
20 TEMPEST: (Can be off) Well-- Amy Fishbein, as I live and breathe.
21 AMY: There a surprise party in the works here--?
6 WARRANT SCRUTINIZES HER. DOC: WARRANT HAS DEFINITELY TAKEN A TURN FOR THE VILLAINOUS.
22 WARRANT: Absolutely.
23 WARRANT: And you, Ms. Fishbein, shall be the guest of honor...
Page 10
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood”
1 MASTER DARQUE SLOUCHES IN THE CHAIR WOODY WAS SITTING IN EARLIER. ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE. BORED. JESUS, HOW LONG MUST THIS TAKE?!?
THE GOAT MILLS ABOUT IDLY AT HIS FEET.
2 DARQUE: Are you quite ready, now?
3 WOODY: (Off) Just about.
4 WOODY: (Off) So-- you give me the galactic Jell-O, and I trade out my immortal soul for all eternity, right?
5 DARQUE: > sigh< “Right.”
6 WOODY: (Off) Ho-kayy--
2 BIG REVEAL: WOODY IN WOODCHUCK OUTFIT, STRIKING ONE OF THE PINUP GIRL POSES FROM THE BEGINNING.
7 WOODCHUCK: --let’s do it, baby!
3 CHAPTER HEADING ACROSS.
8 TITLE: “Dino Might”
4 INT/BUILDING: SIDNE AND RUBEN ENTERING A SHOP, BOTH OF THEM GRINNING A LITTLE.
9 RUBEN: Hey, now...
10 RUBEN: ...this is my kinda place...
11 SIDNE: Mine too...
Page 11
1 INT/LINGERIE SHOP: BEAUTIFUL BABES IN SEXY UNDER THINGS. RUBEN AND SIDNE, BACK TO BACK, LOOKING AROUND, SMILING A LITTLE.
1 RUBEN: ...this is like “Ruben’s Fantasy Camp.”
2 SIDNE: Just remember why we’re here.
3 RUBEN: Why are we here--?
2 RUBEN MACKS ONE OF THE LINGERIE MODELS.
4 RUBEN: So, hey, what’s up. I’m Ruben.
5 RUBEN: I’m on a mission to help save the universe. Maybe show me something in a G-String--?
6 VOICE: (Off, Burst) AAAHH--URKKK--!!
3 ON SIDNE: SHE’s CHOKING ONE OF THE MODELS WITH A BRA WOUND AROUND THE MODEL’s NECK (DOC, THIS IS A BRA SIDNE GOT OFF A DISPLAY OR SOME SUCH; THE MODEL IS WEARING A DIFFERENT BRA). SIDNE SNARLING, THE MODEL’s EYES JAMMED SHUT, STRUGGLING.
RUBEN IN B/G, DEADPAN.
7 RUBEN: Wow...
8 RUBEN: ...exactly like “Ruben’s Fantasy Camp”...
9 MODEL: > gurrkk--!< ..what... what are you doing--?!?
10 SIDNE: I think it’s obvious.
11 SIDNE: I’m one-half of Solar! My awareness has been raised to a higher level--
4 ON RUBEN, RUBBING HIS CHIN, OBSERVING THE OFF-PANEL CONFRONTATION. DEADPAN, EMOTIONLESS EXPRESSION. BEHIND HIM, ONE OF THE MODELS IS TRANSFORMING INTO A DINOSOID, RAISING A BIG KNIFE OR WHAT HAVE YOU TO CHOP RUBEN.
12 SIDNE: (Off) --so I can all but smell a holographic illusion--!
13 RUBEN: Money-- they’re like, naked. Naked is good. Repeat after me.
14 RUBEN: Naked has it’s own smell..
15 RUBEN: I, for one, have a kind of fruity bouquet--
5 SAME: ONLY NOW THE DINO BEHIND RUBEN GETS SHOT IN THE FACE BY SOME HIGH-POWERED WEAPON FIRED FROM OFF-PANEL. RUBEN FLINCHING, SUDDENLY AWARE OF THE DINO BEHIND HIM. SHOT DINO LOOSES GRIP ON KNIFE.
16 SFX: BLAAAAMMM!!
17 RUBEN: --Geeez--!!
18 RUBEN: Okay-- now what--?!?
Page 12
1 TALL DOWN LEFT SIDE: SHADOWMAN EMERGES FRO A FOLD GATE, FIRING BOTH PISTOLS.
DOC: SHADOWMAN WEARS BLACK JOHN LENNON SUNGLASSES, A MATTE BLACK SUIT (PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE SUIT OPEN FOR COLOR), WHITE SHIRT, EXPENSIVE TIE, EXPENSIVE SHOES, BIG ROLEX.
GRIM, BUT OTHERWISE LACKING EMOTION. HE FIRES TWIN AUTOMATIC PISTOLS (LIKE A .9mm OR A SIG .40, WHATEVER WORKS) WITH 13-ROUND CLIPS.
MULTIPLE MUZZLE FLASHES AND MULTIPLE SHELLS EJECTING FROM THE FIRING PISTOLS.
1 SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
2 NEW ANGLE: RUBEN AND SIDNE DIVE FOR IT AS THE MODEL/DINOS GET MOWED DOWN. SOME OF THEM REACHING FOR WEAPONS. COLLATERAL DAMAGE: FLOWER POST, LAMPS, MIRRORS, WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF, EXPLODING FROM INCOMING GUNFIRE.
MODELS HALF-TRANSFORMED TO DINOS.
1 SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
2 RUBEN: ...Jesus...
3 JOHN WOO CRAP HERE: SHADOWMAN PULLING A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN OUT FROM UNDER HIS JACKET (YEAH, YEAH, I NEVER FELL FOR THAT WHEN TUBBS DID IT ON Miami Vice, EITHER).
BOTH OF SHADOWMAN’s PISTOLS HANG IN FREE FALL (HE’s JUST LET GO OF THEM, THE WAY JOHN WOO’s CHARACTERS DO WHEN THE PISTOLS ARE EMPTY), THE PISTOLS ARE OBVIOUSLY FALLING TOWARDS THE FLOOR, BUT IN THIS SHOT THEY SEEM SUSPENDED IN SLOW-MOTION WEIGHTLESS FREE-FALL.
— no copy —
4 FLOOR LEVEL: SIDNE PROTECTING RUBEN DOWN ON THE FLOOR, RUBEN CUPPING HIS HANDS OVER HIS EARS. SPLINTERED GLASS RAINS DOWN ON THEM, LIGHT REFLECTS OFF THE FRAGMENTS.
3 SFX: BOOM!! SH-CHAK!! BOOM!! SH-CHAK!!
Page 13
1 WIDE ACROSS: FLOOR LEVEL: SHADOWMAN’s EXPENSIVE SHOES WALKING ACROSS THE FLOOR. SHOTGUN CARTRIDGES IN FREE FALL AND HITTING THE FLOOR WITH A LIGHT BOUNCE.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE HUNDREDS OF SHELL CASINGS ON THE FLOOR (YEAH, I KNOW, HE ONLY FIRED OFF ABOUT 28 ROUNDS, BUT WORK WITH ME, DOC).
1 SFX: BOOM!! SH-CHAK!! BOOM!! SH-CHAK!!
2 SFX: KA--BLAAAMM!!
3-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE:
2 SHADOWMAN HUNCHES DOWN NEAR SIDNE AND RUBEN, SIDNE GRIM, BRACING TO FIGHT THIS GUY, RUBEN FEARFUL. SHADOWMAN HAS NO EXPRESSION.
— no copy —
3 SAME: ONLY SHADOWMAN NOW LEANS PAST OR OVER SID, REACHING FOR A CABINET OR SOME SUCH BEHIND THEM.
3 SHADOWMAN: Excuse me.
4 SAME: ONLY NOW SHADOWMAN, STILL SQUATTING, PIVOTS TOWARDS US, DISPLAYING TUROK’s TEK BOW. NO EXPRESSION.
4 TUROK: (Off) Thanks, Zero.
5 BIGGER PANEL: NEW ANGLE: TUROK TAKES THE BOW FROM SHADOWMAN’s HAND (SM CAN BE CROPPED OFF).
5 TUROK: Oh-- has everybody met everybody--?
6 TUROK: Michael LéROI, everybody-- everybody, Michael--?
Page 14
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Still Here”
1 WIDE ACROSS: A MASSIVE, WIDE TWISTER PLOWS THROUGH A RURAL TOWN.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
2 DRAMATIC ANGLE: QUANTUM, STANDING ERECT, HOVERING IN THE SKY, SCOWLING DOWN AT US IN GOD-LIKE FASHION. GO NUTS WITH THE CAPE. FIERCE WINDS AND DEBRIS BLOW PAST HIM. A FLYING COW (MY FAVORITE PART OF TWISTER).
3 CAPTION: I can save them.
4 CAPTION: I see that now.
5 CAPTION: I finally understand--
3 IN FOR A C/U: QUANTUM GESTURES WITH HIS HAND, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
6 CAPTION: --why I am here.
4 NEW ANGLE: THE TWISTER IS DESTROYED. WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU: IT DISINTEGRATES, IT SPLITS, IT CRUSHES TO THE GROUND-- WHATEVER PICTURE MAKES SENSE TO YOU.
7 SFX: As appropriate
8 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
5 CUT TO: A FARM: FARMER BOB AND HIS LITTLE GIRL: THE LITTLE GIRL FRIGHTENED, CLINGING TO BOB’s LEG AS QUANTUM COMES IN FOR A LANDING, BRINGING THE COW WITH HIM (FROM PANEL 2). QUANTUM EITHER CARRYING IT OR USING HIS CONTROL BAND TO BRING IT GENTLY DOWN. DON’T MAKE Q LOOK SILLY, HE SHOULD SEEM ALMOST GOD-LIKE AND NOBLE.
FIERCE WINDS STILL BLOWING THEIR HAIR, THE GIRL’s DRESS, ETC. THE TWISTER IS GONE, BUT THE WINDS ARE STILL DYING DOWN.
9 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
Page 15
1 FULL FIGURE: THE LITTLE GIRL, SHY BUT CURIOUS, QUANTUM DOWN ON ONE KNEE, HIS HAND WIPES A TEAR FROM THE GIRL’s EYE. THINK SUPERMAN.
STRONG WINDS BLOW HER HAIR.
1 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
2 FORCED PERSPECTIVE: QUANTUM SOARS UP AWAY FROM US (HEELS OF HIS BOOTS, LOTS OF CAPE), SOARING INTO THE AFTERNOON SKY. WOTTA MAN.
WIND. GRAY SKY.
2 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
3 CHAPTER HEADING ACROSS:
3 TITLE: “Snapshot”
4 BACK AT DARQUE’s PLACE: WOODY’s GOT THE CHIPMUNK HELMET OFF. HE HOLDS THE JEWEL BOX I ON CARTOONY HAND, PREPARING TO MAKE HIS EXIT. DARQUE CHECKING HIS CAMERA (REWINDING THE FILM OR WHAT HAVE YOU).
4 WOODY: Okay... I find Eric, and then I throw this at him...
5 DARQUE: > sigh < No, Woody you--
5 IN CLOSE ON DARQUE, HEAD BOWED, EYES FIXED ON THE CAMERA IN HIS HANDS AS HE TALKS.
6 DARQUE: --yes.
7 DARQUE: Yes, that’s exactly right. Throw the item at him.
8 DARQUE: One thing, though--
(More)
6 ON WOODY, ANNOYED.
9 DARQUE: (Off) --you must look exactly as you do in the photo.
10 WOODY: --?! Say what--?
11 DARQUE: (Off) You must wear the chipmunk costume.
12 WOODY: Woodchuck.
13 DARQUE: (Off) Whatever.
Page 16
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Prattle”
1 TEMPEST IN WOODY’s OFFICE: HER ARMS OUTSTRETCHED IN THE UNIVERSAL SIGN FOR, “NOTHIN’.”
2 TEMPEST: Nothin.’
3 TEMPEST: Vincent has left the building.
4 WARRANT: (Off) Blast it all--!!
2 NEW ANGLE: WARRANT ANNOYED, HOLLY TRIES TO CALM HIM DOWN, AMY CHECKS HER WATCH.
5 WARRANT: --why the devil didn’t one of you tie the beast up somewhere--?!?
6 WARRANT: Without my power-- or the damned goat-- we’re stuck here--!!
7 TUROK: (Off) Maybe so, maybe not--
3 BIG PANEL: NEW ANGLE: TUROK, RUBEN, SIDNE EMERGE FROM A FOLD GATE.
8 TUROK: --it all depends on exactly who you are!
9 SIDNE: Where are we?
10 TUROK: Quantum and Woody’s office building-- I came here looking for them once.*
11 RUBEN: And, hey-- it’s a short subway ride away from my getting the hell out of this story!!!
12 FOOTNOTE: *Solar: Hell On Earth #2 --Ruben (More)
4 WIDE ACROSS: THEY ALL MEET AND GREET. SORRY FOR THE CROWD. AMY’s LEAVING.
13 TEMPEST: Well, I suppose we’re all here for the same reason, give or take...
14 RUBEN: Maybe we should separate the heroes from the villains...
15 WARRANT: In the name of God enough of that prattle, already--!!
16 TUROK: “Prattle”--? That sounded rather villainous...
17 AMY: That’s it.
18 AMY: You all let me know how this ends--
Page 17
1 CUT TO: ERIC’s OFFICE: WOODY AND VINCENT EMERGE FROM A FOLD GATE. WOODY HAS SERIOUS EXPRESSION. HE STILL WEARS CHIPMUNK SUIT BUT NO HELMET (THE HELMET CAN BE ATTACHED SOMEHOW OR HE CAN BE HOLDING IT, WHATEVER YOU WANT, DOC).
1 AMY: (Off) --I’ve got a real life to get back to.
2 WARRANT: (Off) I’m afraid I can’t let you leave, Ms. Fishbein!
3 AMY: (Off) Can’t “let” me, Dr. Warrant--?
2 WOODY SETS THE JEWEL BOX DOWN ON ERIC’s DESK AS HE LOOKS AROUND, WONDERING WHERE ERIC IS. WOODY HAS THE TV REMOTE IN HIS FREE HAND.
4 TEMPEST: (Off) Amy-- Eric’s got a thing for you.
5 TEMPEST: (Attach) All the Doc is saying is we need you--
6 AMY: (Off) Tempest, it’s just not my problem--
7 WOODY: ...c’mon, c’mon, stupid... show yourself...
8 WOODY: ...I know you’re out there somewhere...
3 ZOOM IN ON WOODY: ALL BUSINESS.
9 WOODY: ...boom.
4 ANGLE: THE BIG SCREEN: TV NEWS REPORT: ARMY TANKS AND MEN ARE BEING FORCED BACKWARDS, THE TANKS SLAMMING INTO EACH OTHER, SOLDIERS BEING THROWN BACKWARDS BY AN UNSEEN FORCE.
DOC: THIS ARMY SHOULD BE OF SOME UNSPECIFIED COUNTRY.
10 TUROK: (Off) Miss-- it’s all of our problem--
11 TUROK: (Attach) --if we don’t shut Quantum down, nobody will have a “life” to return to!
12 HOLLY: (Off) Turok is right, Amy-- we--
5 NEW ANGLE: ERIC’s OFFICE: IT’S EMPTY. TEMPEST ENTERING THROUGH A DOOR.
IMPORTANT: WOODY HAS LEFT THE JEWEL BOX ON ERIC’s DESK.
13 TEMPEST: --?!?
14 TEMPEST: Thought I heard someone in here...
Page 18
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Well Blow Me Down”
1 BIRD’s EYE: A BATTLEFIELD: TANKS SMASHED INTO ONE ANOTHER, SOLDIERS FLEEING, FIRES BURNING: THE ARMY HAS BEEN ROUTE.
SMALL-ISH FIGURE OF QUANTUM (WE’RE OVER HIS HEAD) HOVERS, OBSERVING.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
3 CAPTION: I have saved them.
4 WOODY: (Off) You have mucked it up, you idiot--!!
2 NEW ANGLE: QUANTUM TURNS TO SEE WOODY AND THE GOAT ARRIVE. GOAT TOWS WOODY BY HIS LEASH. WOODY IN CHIPMUNK COSTUME.
5 WOODY: Just look at you. I can’t believe this-- Eric--
6 WOODY: --what are you doing?!?
7 CAPTION: I am that I am.
8 WOODY: Who are you-- Popeye--?!? Eric--
3 ANGLE ON WOODY, ANNOYED.
9 WOODY: --for every war you stop here, three more break out somewhere else.
10 WOODY: Every twister you halt in Kansas causes drought or flooding somewhere else. Eric--
11 WOODY: --the universe is a big place. We were never meant to be mucking with it like this!
(More)
4 MED C/U QUANTUM, GRIM.
12 CAPTION: I am here.
13 WOODY: (Off) You’ve got the power-- but no discipline in using it...
14 WOODY: (Smaller, attach) ...Jurassic Park, scene six...
15 WOODY: (Normal, attach) ...Jesus, Eric--
5 PULL BACK: WOODY CAN HAVE ONE ARM AROUND VINCENT FOR SUPPORT, OR WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
16 WOODY: --you’re destroying everything you think you’ve been created to save!
17 WOODY: I don’t know what Harada told you-- all that “what is to come” bull-- but, the truth is, whatever it is--
18 WOODY: --creation has a way of sorting itself out! If it’s our time to check out-- oh well!
19 WOODY: The one thing I am sure of is--
6 MED C/U: WOODY, SNARLING, ACCUSING.
20 WOODY: --NOBODY elected YOU to CHANGE THINGS!!
21 CAPTION: But... I am here.
22 WOODY: Yes. Yes-- my point exactly, dipstick-- you’re here, I’m here, Vincent’s here-- and why?!?
23 WOODY: Why can’t I ever get RID of you?!?
Page 19
1 WOODY, SNARLING, DIGS INTO HIS COSTUME, REACHING FOR THE McGUFFIN. DOC, HE’s REMOVED ONE OF THE BIG CARTOONY GLOVES (IT HINGES BACKWARDS). HIS FREE HAND AROUND THE GOAT FOR SUPPORT: WOODY DOES NOT YET KNOW HE DOES NOT NEED THE GOAT.
1 WOODY: Sorry it’s come to this, damn you...
2 WOODY: ...but the only way to save you from you is for us to become linked again.
3 WOODY: Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in--
4 WOODY: --I--
2 WOODY SUDDENLY REALIZES HE LEFT THE DAMNED THING ON ERIC’s DESK.
5 WOODY: --uh--
3 CUT TO: TEMPEST, IN ERIC’s OFFICE, THE JEWEL BOX IN HER HAND, CURIOUS ABOUT IT, ABOUT TO OPEN IT UP.
6 TEMPEST: --?
4 QUANTUM STARTS TO FLY AWAY, WOODY REACHING AFTER HIM.
7 WOODY: Wait-- wait-- I’ve got this Jell-O-- that will fix everything--
8 WOODY: --we’ve got to go back to the office--
9 WOODY: --hey-- don’t turn your damned back on me, jerk-- I said--
(More)
5 MASSIVE POWER DISCHARGE FROM WOODY NAILS QUANTUM, SHOCKING THEM BOTH.
A VORTEX HAS OPENED UP, SWALLOWING THE GOAT. WOODY HOLDING THE LEASH, IT’S TUGGING WOODY IN, WOODY’s FREE HAND HAD GRABBED QUANTUM’s CAPE, TUGGING QUANTUM IN, AS WELL
10 WOODY: (Burst) --WE’VE GOTTA GO BACK TO THE OFFICE!!
11 SFX: KKKKZZZAAAAAMMMMM!!
Page 20
1 TEMPEST HAS THE BOX OPEN: MASSIVE ENERGY DISCHARGES FROM THE JEWEL BOX, STARTLING TEMPEST, WHO STUMBLES BACK, DROPPING THE BOX.
1 TEMPEST: (Burst) --AAAHHH--!!
2 CUT TO: NEW YORK: BANG! THE HEROES AND GOAT APPEAR IN A BRILLIANT FLASH OF LIGHT. I MEAN BRILLIANT AS IN ALL OF MANHATTAN IS HIT BY A ZILLION-WATT LIGHT BULB.
2 SFX: KKEEERRAAAAKKKK!!!
3 QUANTUM SNATCHES WOODY BY A FISTFUL OF CHIPMUNK COSTUME, ABOUT TO DECK HIM. THE GOAT FLIES AWAY.
3 QUANTUM: You are just a child, you know that?!
4 QUANTUM: Anything you don’t understand... anything you can’t eat... is just a damned mystery to you!!
5 QUANTUM: Woody, I swear to God--
6 WOODY: You’re talking.
7 QUANTUM: Shut up.
4 WOODY, ELATED, HUGS QUANTUM, WOODY RELIEVED.
8 WOODY: You’re talking!! And you’re *SQUEE* off at me!!
9 WOODY: (Burst) ERIC!!!
10 QUANTUM: Get off of me.
11 WOODY: That’s it-- that’s it-- insult me some more-- c’mon-- you can do it--!
(More)
5 DETAIL: WOODY PUSHES BACK OFF OF QUANTUM WHILE RELIEVING HIM OF ONE OF HIS CONTROL BANDS.
12 WOODY: (Off) --oh, by the way, I believe one of these belongs to me--!
13 QUANTUM: (Off) Woody-- the bands are inert--!
14 QUANTUM: (Attach) --what are you--
6 PULL BACK: A PASSENGER JET NEARLY NAILS THE GUYS. DOC, HOW ABOUT WE SEE MAINLY THE FUSELAGE OF THE PLANE, HAVING APPEARED SUDDENLY BEHIND THE GUYS. TINY FIGURES OF QUANTUM AND WOODY, QUANTUM LOSING HIS GRIP ON WOODY AS THE UNEXPECTED BIRD NEARLY MOWS THEM DOWN.
15 QUANTUM: --look out--!!
16 WOODY: (Burst) GEEZ--!!
17 WOODY: Eric-- what are you doing--?!?
Page 21
1 NEW ANGLE: Q&W, THEIR BACKS TO US, WATCHES THE PLANE DIVING TOWARDS MANHATTAN.
1 QUANTUM: Your vortex-- our appearance here must have pulled the jet off course--!!
2 WOODY: “My” vortex? What do you mean “my” vortex?
3 WOODY: I don’t have any damned vortex!
4 QUANTUM: Oh? Then why aren’t you falling?
2 NEW ANGLE: WOODY LOOKING DOWN AT HIS FEET, WONDERING WHY HE ISN’T FALLING.
5 WOODY: ---
6 WOODY: --because I hadn’t noticed it yet.
7 WOODY: It’s in, like, every cartoon.
8 QUANTUM: (Off) Woody-- the plane-- it’s headed right for--
3 TEMPEST IN ERIC’s OFFICE, SPRAWLED ON THE FLOOR, WHERE SHE FELL WHEN THE JEWEL BOX CAME ALIVE. SITTING UP, LEGS ASKEW LIKE A LITTLE KID, SCRATCHING HER HEAD.
HOLLY ENTERING, BECKONING HER.
9 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat just flies now.
10 TEMPEST: That’s it, science freak-- it’s go time.
11 HOLLY: Yeah, well, before we start pulling each other’s hair out, there’s something you’ve just got to see.
(More)
4 A HALL OR OUTER OFFICE: VINCENT IDLY MUNCHES OR WANDERS, TEMPEST NOTES THE GOAT IS BACK. HOLLY PAYS THE GOAT NO MIND.
12 TEMPEST: --?! Oh, Vincent’s back--?
13 HOLLY: That, too.
14 HOLLY: But the main show is just starting--
5 INT/WOODY’s OFFICE OR WHEREVER WORKS: THE BACKS OF THE CAST, ALL LOOKING AWAY FROM US OUT OF THE GLASS WALL.
BEHIND THE GLASS WALL: THE NOSE OF THE PLANE, BIG AS LIFE, ABOUT TO SMASH RIGHT INTO THE BUILDING. TOO LATE TO EVEN SCREAM.
15 HOLLY: -and we figured you wouldn’t wanna miss it.
Page 22
1 QUANTUM AND WOODY, BANKING DOWN AND AWAY FROM US, PURSUING THE JET BUT IT’s WAY, WAY TOO LATE.
1 WOODY: No-- NO--!!
2 WOODY: VINCENT’s in there--!!
3 QUANTUM: It’s too late, Woody--
4 WOODY: NO-- we’ve-- we’ve GOT to--
2 THE PANEL FROM THE WEB BITS: EXT/Q/W’s OFFICE BUILDING: A COMMERCIAL JET, CRIPPLED AND ON FIRE, CLIPS PART OF THE BUILDING AS IT HEADS FOR A CRASH LANDING IN THE RIVER.
QUANTUM, CRACKLING WITH ENERGY, FLIES IN FRONT OF THE JET, FIRING ENERGY AT UT (HE IS TRYING TO SAVE IT).
5 SFX: KKAAA--THOOOOOOOOOMMM!!
6 NEXT: NEXT: And Everybody Got DEAD.
— 30--
Quantum & Woody #24 “The God Factor”
Full Script / 21 Pages
First Draft: January 5, 2000
v1 Revision: January 28, 2000
Synopsis: Woody makes a deal with the devil to rescue Quantum from himself, while their friends scramble to find a way to keep these two idiots form blowing up the universe.
Reference: Master Darque, Frank Seleski, Turok, Shadowman
Cover Suggestion: Disaster movie epic: Mid air battle between Woody Woodchuck and Quantum, a row of head shots along the bottom, copy: WHO will live-- and WHO will DIE?!
FROM ISSUE #23: WOODY, DESPERATE TO FIND A WAY TO HELP BRING QUANTUM (NOW VESTED WITH GODLIKE POWER) TO HIS SENSES, IS REFERRED TO SHADOWMAN BY TUROK. SHADOWMAN, IN TURN, SETS UP A MEETING BETWEEN WOODY AND THE ONE GUY WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP HIM.
Page 20
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Into The Darque”
1 EXT/BAR: BOURBON STREET, THE FRENCH QUARTER. VERY OLD, NARROW BUILDING JAMMED IN AMONG LIKE BUILDINGS (RENT JFK FOR GOOD REF ON NEW ORLEANS).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
2 WOODY: (From bar) ...and then the nun says, “That’s not an oboe, sir!”
2 CUT TO INSIDE: WOODY AT THE BAR, A MUG OF BEER IN FRONT OF HIM, SOME MONEY ON THE BAR. WOODY SMILING AT THE BARTENDER. THE BARTENDER LOOKS CREEPY AND EVIL AND DOES NOT SMILE.
3 WOODY: Oboe.
4 WOODY: Ohh-bow. Y’get it--?
5 WOODY: Ah-hah.
6 WOODY: Well, listen, I’m supposed to meet a guy here...
7 WOODY: (small) ...not that I have a habit of meeting guys...
8 WOODY: (small) ...not that there’s anything wrong with that...
3 THE CREEPY BARKEEP HANDS WOODY HIS MONEY BACK WHILE POINTING BEHIND WOODY WITH HIS FREE HAND. WOODY TURNING TO SEE WHAT THE BARKEEP IS POINTING AT.
9 WOODY: ...must lose something in translation into zombie...
10 WOODY: --huh?
(More)
4 NEW ANGLE: MASTER DARQUE SITS AT A SMALL BISTRO TABLE, GLARING THAT PRINCE GLARE AT US. PEOPLE MILLING ALL AROUND HIM BUT, EERILY, THERE IS AN UNDISTURBED, CLEAR PATH THROUGH THE CROWD TO HIS TABLE SO NO ONE IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW OF HIM.
MASTER DARQUE LOOKS VERY THIN, PRINCE HAIR, SHIRT OPEN REVEALING HIS BONY CHEST. I BELIEVE HE WEARS FRILLY FRENCH-LOOKING STUFF. MODEL HIM ON PRINCE.
USELESS COLOR NOTE SINCE DOC WON’T LEAVE COLOR NOTES: PLEASE PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON DARQUE, PULLING HIM OUT OF THE CROWD SOMEWHAT.
— no copy —
2-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE.
5 CUT TO WOODY AT THE BAR. WOODY LOOKING AT THE OFF-PANEL DARQUE. INTENSE EXPRESSION, SCRUTINIZING DARQUE. NOT SMILING HERE.
— no copy —
6 SAME: WOODY NOW LOOKS RIGHT AT US, BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL. DOC, HAVE HIM REMOVE HIS GLASSES HERE SO WE GET GOOD EXPRESSION. ONE EYEBROW RAISED, A MOCK GLARE.
11 WOODY: Of course, you realize, the mocking must commence immediately.
Page 21
1 DARQUE’s TABLE: WOODY SEATS HIMSELF WITH THE CHAIR REVERSED, LEANING FORWARD ON THE CHAIR BACK, SMILING AT DARQUE, AMUSED BY HIM.
1 WOODY: (Singing, add musical notes) Dig if you will a picture... of you and I engaged in a kiss...
2 WOODY: Hey. Just funnin’ ya.
3 WOODY: You got a name, or do you just use a phonetic symbol--?
2 DARQUE. AMUSED. GENTLE SMILE, NOT TOO BROAD.
NOTE TO OMAR: I HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER ABOUT THIS GUY!! SEND REF!!! I BEG THEE!!
4 DARQUE: I am called many things.
5 DARQUE: You want to discuss names or you want to save your friend.
6 WOODY: (Off) It’s not about my friend so much as my goat. And saving the planet--
7 DARQUE: This will not work if there is not complete truth between us.
3 ON WOODY, A HAND UP IN PROTEST WHILE HE TURNS WHICH WAY TO SEE WHO’s LISTENING.
8 DARQUE: (Off) You wish to save your friend. Because you love him.
9 WOODY: Hey-- hey-- hey-- let’s not talk about me “loving him” while I’m dressed in Spandex and you’ve got this Velvet Jones thing happening here.
10 WOODY: You gonna help me or not?
4 DARQUE FINISHES HIS DRINK.
11 DARQUE: Not.
12 WOODY: (Can be off) Hey-- hey--
13 DARQUE: I will, however, give you a chance to help yourself-- if you agree to me terms.
14 WOODY: Sure. Whatever. What do you want?
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY LEAVING, PRETENDING TO HAIL A CAB. DARQUE SITS NONCHALANTLY, LOOKING AT HIS EMPTY GLASS HELD IN HIS HAND.
15 DARQUE: Not much. Just a photograph of you.
16 WOODY: (Burst) TAXI!
17 DARQUE: You can save him, Woody. I can show you how--
6 EXT/BAR: WOODY EMERGES FROM THE BAR ONLY TO RUN INTO DARQUE OUTSIDE. DARQUE STILL NONCHALANTLY PONDERING HIS EMPTY GLASS
18 DARQUE: --if you meet my price.
19 WOODY: --?!? Huh? How did you--
20 DARQUE: Come with me and find out.
21 NEXT: NEXT: GOD VS. WOODCHUCK
Just when they thought they were out, they’re dragged back in...
— 30 —
Page 1
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “You Won’t Die”
1 CITY STREETS: RUBEN AND SIDNE CROUCHED ON A ROOFTOP, LOOKING DOWN AT SOMETHING OFF-PANEL. SIDNE HAS INTENSE EXPRESSION, RUBEN SHOWS NO EMOTION.
AN UNEARTHLY GLOW FROM BELOW (THEY ARE LOOKING AT THIS ETHEREAL LIGHT).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
2 SIDNE: (Whisper) There--
3 SIDNE: (Whisper) --Turok’s Tek Bow. The only weapon that can banish dinosoids back to the Lost Land.
4 SIDNE: (Whisper) Now’s our chance--
5 RUBEN: (Whisper) Money--
6 RUBEN: (Whisper) --now’s your chance.
7 RUBEN: (Whisper) My Latino *SQUEE* be stayin’ glued up in this piece.
2 WHAT THEY SEE: DOWN IN THE ALLEY: SEVERAL DINOSOIDS ENCIRCLE A LEADER DINOSOID. THE LEADER DINO HAS TUROK’s TEK BOW AND IS SMASHING IT REPEATEDLY ON THE GROUND, TRYING TO DESTROY IT.
THE BOW IS INDESTRUCTIBLE. THE STRING FROM THE BOW IS THIS BLUE COLOR HOLD DEAL (SEE REF), AND THIS IS THE SOURCE OF THE GLOW.
8 RUBEN: (Whisper, off) I doubt Marble Comics’ workers comp package covers being eaten by dinosoids.
9 SIDNE: (Whisper, off) Ruben--
10 SIDNE: (Whisper, attach) --you know I’m one-half of the composite being known as Solar. Frank Seleski, my partner, has vanished--
11 SIDNE: (Whisper, attach) --coincidentally around the time this “Quantum” gained god-like powers, and those beasties ambushed Turok and stole his bow!
3 IN CLOSER ON THESE TWO. SIDNE’s EYES FIXED ON THE ALLEY. GLOW FROM OFF.
12 SIDNE: (Whisper) As an intelligent, thinking man, can you doubt there’s some connection?
13 RUBEN: (Whisper) I’m not an intelligent, thinking man-- I’m a comic book editor.
14 RUBEN: (Whisper) And, of course I can see the connection, Sidne--
15 RUBEN: (Whisper) --it’s why Woody adopted me-- he thinks I can figure out where things are going.
4 ON RUBEN: STOIC EXPRESSION, PERHAPS THE GLOW REFLECTS IN HIS SUNGLASSES. NO BACKGROUND, DOC. LOTS OF ROOM FOR COPY.
16 RUBEN: (Whisper) Once they snatched his bow, Turok had to choose between letting the dinos overrun the Earth--
17 RUBEN: (Whisper) --or letting Quantum do it. You got a cosmic headache and volunteered us to get the bow back so the guys can go after Quantum--
18 RUBEN: (Whisper) --maybe because you’re sure defeating Quantum will somehow get Frank back so you two can re-create Solar--
19 RUBEN: (Whisper) --and save the universe from whatever’s going on in “the bigger picture.”
5 DOWN IN THE ALLEY: THE DINOS HEAD THROUGH A DOOR, TAKING THE TEK BOW WITH THEM. THE DINOS ARE TRANSFORMING INTO HUMAN FORM, BUT WE DO NOT SEE THE FINAL RESULT (DOC: THEY ARE CHANGING INTO WOMEN— GORGEOUS WOMEN— AS WE WILL SOON SEE).
20 RUBEN: (Whisper, Off) The main flaw in your plan, though, is the story could end a lot of different ways.
21 RUBEN: (Whisper, Attach) And, I’m not sure if this yarn is code-approved...
22 SIDNE: (Whisper) They’re heading in-- using holographic projectors to change to human form.
23 SIDNE: (Whisper, Attach) C’mon, Roo-- I promise you won’t die.
Page 2
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Still Here”
1 VIEW FROM BEHIND A GROCERY STORE SHELF. LOOKING OUT FROM BEHIND A ROW OF JARS. HEAVY SHADOWS ON THESE JARS TO HELP OUT THE STORYTELLING THAT WE’VE PLANTED OUR CAMERA DEEP BEHIND A GROCERY STORE SHELF.
SEVERAL ROWS OF JARS ARE MISSING, PROVIDING US AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OUT TO THE AISLE, CREATING A “LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL” EFFECT. DOC, IF I’VE LOST YOU, I CAN THUMBNAIL THIS. WE WILL SEE THESE MISSING JARS ARE PEANUT BUTTER JARS ERIC HAS BOUGHT OFF THE SHELF.
— no copy —
2 STAT. ONLY NOW, ERIC’S EYE PEERS AT US FROM THE AISLE, HE IS LOOKING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
3 STAT: ERIC’s HAND REACHES IN, FUTILELY SEARCHING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER. THERE IS NO MORE.
3 CAPTION: I want more.
4 CAPTION: I need more.
5 CAPTION: There is so much more to learn. That is why--
4 BREAK THE SPELL: ESTABLISH: ERIC STANDING IN THE AISLE AT GRISTEDES. HE HAS ONE OF THOSE MINI-SHOPPING CARTS THE CITY DWELLERS USE (NOT THE FULL-SIZE JOBS WE’RE USED TO, BUT AN ANEMIC MOCKERY OF THE STANDARD SUPERMARKET CART).
ERIC’S CART IS STACKED HIGH WITH PEANUT BUTTER JARS. HE’s CLEANED THE STORE OUT. HE’s LEANING IN, HIS ARM REACHING WAY BACK IN THE SHELF, LOOKING FOR MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
CURIOUS PASSERS BY GIVE ERIC A PUZZLED LOOK. ERIC STOIC, VERY ZEN, THIS IS A SPIRITUAL SOJOURN FOR HIM.
6 CAPTION: --I am here.
(More)
5 BACK TO BEHIND THE SHELF, ANGLE: RESUME STAT AND REPEAT OF THE SHELF. ERIC HAS WITHDRAWN HIS HAND AND IS NOW PEERING IN, KIND OF A PRINCE GLARE.
7 CAPTION: It is all so clear to me now.
8 CAPTION: Finally...
9 CAPTION: I... I can save them.
6 MORE OF THIS.
10 CAPTION: Save them.
11 CAPTION: Yes.
12 CAPTION: Finally, I can.
7 STAT PANEL 1: ERIC IS GONE.
13 CAPTION: It’s so simple.
14 CAPTION: The reason I exist.
15 CAPTION: The reason...
Page 3
(SPLASH) EXT/CITY STREETS: QUANTUM, FULL COSTUME, HEROICALLY ZOOMS UP AND AWAY FROM GRISTEDES. ONE ARM LOCKED, FIST POINTED BEHIND HIM, FIRING A BEAM OF ENERGY AT THE SHOPPING CART FULL OF PEANUT BUTTER (THE BEAM IS A TRACTOR BEAM, TOWING THE CART BEHIND HIM).
COLOR: IT IS NIGHT.
1 CAPTION: ...I am here.
2 TAG LINE: RUBEN’S FANTASY CAMP
3 LOGO: QUANTUM AND WOODY in:
4 TITLE: THE GOD FACTOR
5 CREDITS: By:
M.D.
PRIEST & BRIGHT
STORY & ART
6 CREDITS:
Romeo Tanghal / inking · Pop VisualWerk / lettering · Digital Broome / colorist
Omar Banmally / editor
7 CREDITS: QUANTUM & WOODY created by Bright & Priest
Page 4
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “AlexannnDRAY”
3-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE:
1 PHOTO SHOOT: MEDIUM: WOODY IN SEXY PINUP GIRL POSE: STOOPED A LITTLE SO HIS BUTT IS STICKING OUT, GRINNING BROADLY FOR THE CAMERA.
2 WOODY: Howzis?
2 SAME ANGLE: WOODY IN EVEN SILLIER POSE.
3 WOODY: Maybe more of a Fabio deal?
3 SAME ANGLE: NEXT POSE.
4 WOODY: Take your time, big boy-- I gotta million of ‘em.
4 REVERSE ANGLE: MASTER DARQUE WITH HS CAMERA (ASK OMAR BECAUSE I STILL DON’T HAVE REFERENCE!!!). DARQUE CLEARLY ANNOYED AT WOODY’s ANTICS.
DOC: ASK OMAR WHAT DARQUE’s HOUSE LOOKS LIKE.
— no copy —
5 SAME: DARQUE WALKING OFF NOW.
5 DARQUE: Forget it.
6 DARQUE: You’re clearly not taking this seriously.
7 WOODY: (Off) Hey-- hey-- I resemble that remark--
6 ON WOODY: THE SILLIEST POSE YOU CAN IMAGINE.
8 WOODY: --I’m trying to hold up my end, fella. Literally.
9 WOODY: Just take the damned picture already.
Page 5
1 ON DARQUE, POURING HIMSELF A GLASS OF WINE OR WHATEVER. NOT LOOKING AT WOODY, NO EXPRESSION.
1 DARQUE: You came to me, remember?
2 DARQUE: A Shadowman named Michael LéRoi contacted me on your behalf, asking me to help you help your friend.*
3 DARQUE: All I ask is a simple trade.
4 FOOTNOTE: *last issue --Omar
2 NEW ANGLE: DARQUE GESTURES TOWARDS AN OPEN DOOR. ETHEREAL ENERGY COMES FROM THE DOOR, AND THROUGH THE DOOR WE SEE THE BAR IN NEW ORLEANS.
5 DARQUE: The bar in the French Quarter is through that door.
6 DARQUE: I suggest you go back there.
7 WOODY: (Off) Hey-- hey-- hold the phone, Mister Darkie--
8 DARQUE: Alexandre.
3 ON WOODY, NO LONGER POSING, GETTING ANNOYED NOW.
9 WOODY: Alayhannnn-DRAY.
10 WOODY: Look, I just met you, and you’re trading souls and taking pictures and making
deals...
11 WOODY: (Smaller) ...and cussing like a sailor, I might add...
(More)
4 DARQUE EXITS, ANNOYED.
12 WOODY: (Off) Whaddaya got for me? Give me one reason why I should take you seriously...
13 WOODY: (Attach, small letters) ...well, other than that dimensional door trick that brought me to your incredibly fey house...
14 DARQUE: Wait here.
15 DARQUE: Don’t touch anything.
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY: AFTER IMAGES AS HE RUSHES ABOUT THE ROOM TOUCHING EVERYTHING AS FAST AS HE CAN.
16 WOODY: [Ital. All quotes, please]
“Don’t touch anything.”
17 WOODY: “Follow me, I’ll take your picture.”
18 WOODY: “Trade me your soul.”
19 WOODY: “Do you think I look fat?”
20 WOODY: If the planet weren’t in dire distress, I’d actually be enjoying this--
Page 6
1 IN CLOSE: WOODY’s HAND HAS OPENED A CABINET, REVEALING FRANK SELESKI STUFFED INSIDE. SELESKI IS BOUND, SHOVED LENGTHWISE INTO SOME GOTH-LOOKING CABINET OF YOUR CHOICE. A GAG AROUND HIS MOUTH, BUT HE IS AWAKE. NOT PANICKED, JUST GRIM DETERMINATION IN HIS EYES.
DOC: SEE Solar: Hell On Earth #1 for REF ON THIS GUY. GREY AT THE TEMPLES, STRONG JAW, PIERCING EYES.
1 SELESKI: > mmffphh--!! <
2 WOODY: (Off) --whoops. Sorry, dude-- my bad.
2 SAME ANGLE: WOODY’s HAND SLAMS THE CABINET SHUT.
3 SFX: SLAMMM!!
4 WOODY: (Off) --just havin’ a little fun with your... “A... friend,” here.
5 WOODY: (Attach) Didn’t mean t’wake ya.
3 NEW ANGLE: WOODY SITTING IN SOME RIDICULOUSLY ORNATE CHAIR. BORED.
6 WOODY: > sigh <
7 WOODY: Y’know...
8 WOODY: ...some nice, eerie music would go well right about now.
9 WOODY: And a cookie.
10 WOODY: A really nice cookie... yes...
11 DARQUE: (Off) All right, Woody--
4 DARQUE RE-ENTERS, TOSSING A SMALL, ORNATE BOX AT WOODY. DARQUE STILL HAS HIS WINE GLASS.
12 DARQUE: --I believe this will solve your problem.
13 WOODY: Wow-- a really old, prissy-looking jewelry box! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that!
12 WOODY: Gee-- thanks, Mister Darkie-- you’re the greatest!
13 DARQUE: Look inside it, you idiot.
5 ON WOODY: HE’s GOT THE BOX OPEN BUT WE DO NOT SEE WHAT IS INSIDE. BRILLIANT LIGHT FROM INSIDE ILLUMINATES WOODY’s FACE.
14 WOODY: That’s Mahhster Id-EEE-yut to you...
15 WOODY: ...hey...
16 WOODY: ...is this... could this be what I think it is...?
Page 7
1 ON DARQUE: SMUG NOW.
1 DARQUE: Yes.
2 DARQUE: The key to the entire universe.
2 ON WOODY: STARING AT THE THING IN THE BOX.
— no copy —
3 STAT.
3 WOODY: Oh.
4 WOODY: No, I thought is was Jell-O.
5 WOODY: I love me some Jell-O.
4 ON DARQUE: HE’s GOT HIS CAMERA AGAIN.
6 DARQUE: Do you mind--?!
7 DARQUE: [Omar: please backstop me for terms of the deal]
With that, you can most certainly reverse the process that elevated Quantum’s powers.
8 DARQUE: In return, I collect my small fee...
5 NEW ANGLE: WOODY POINTING AT THE DOOR TO THE BAR.
9 WOODY: Just had a thought... can you make that a doorway to anywhere--?
10 DARQUE: (Can be off) ...>sigh< ...yes.
11 WOODY: Backinasec.
Page 8
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “It’s Magic”
1 (TOP 1/2 OF PAGE) POSTER SHOT: THE GOAT COMES IN FOR A LANDING, APPROACHING QUANTUM & WOODY’s OFFICE BUILDING.
TEMPEST (IN COSTUME) IS BEING TOWED BY THE GOAT’s LEASH. SHE’s DAISY-CHAINED HERSELF TO WARRANT (IN COSTUME) WHO HOLDS HOLLY.
GIVE THIS SHOT A KIND OF STORYBOOK ELEMENT TO IT, DOC. I REMIND YOU WARRANT’s HAIR IS NOT ON FIRE.
2 TEMPEST: Okay.
3 TEMPEST: This is new...
4 TEMPEST: --anybody know when, exactly, the goat started flying?
2 CUT TO: INT/OFFICES: THE GOAT HAS PASSED THROUGH THE GLASS WALL WITHOUT BREAKING IT, TOWING THE THREE BEHIND HIM, WHO ALSO SHARE IN THE GOAT’S MAGIC (SIMPLY FROM BEING IN CONTACT).
THIS IS WOODY’s OFFICE.
5 WARRANT: I’d hazard a guess it is due to an energy re-structure-- a simple enough procedure if you go down enough sub-levels of matter lattice interlock. Holly--?
6 HOLLY: I concur. It is possible the animal’s sub-code has been restrung in accordance to the Heinklin-Robard theorem of--
3 TEMPEST HOLDS A GUN ON HOLLY.
7 TEMPEST: Shut up.
8 TEMPEST: Just say: “It’s magic. The goat flies, now.”
9 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat flies now.
10 TEMPEST: Thank you.
4 NEW ANGLE: WOODY’s OFFICE: NOBODY’s HOME.
11 WARRANT: You’d hoped the goat would lead us to Woody, Agent Sheridan. Looks like you were wrong.
12 TEMPEST: It’s a goat, Doc. It tends to have a mind of its own.
13 TEMPEST: If Woody’s not here, I’m sure he had a good reason for--
14 HOLLY: (Off) Yep-- and I found it, Tempest--
5 SLIVER PANEL: THE BATHROOM: THE GOAT TAKES A DRINK FROM THE TOILET. HOLLY LOOKING TOWARDS US, WHILE THUMBING BACK IN THE GOAT’s DIRECTION. SARCASTIC LOOK ON HOLLY’s FACE..
15 HOLLY: --though I’ll try and keep it simple for you.
Page 9
1 ERIC’s OFFICE: THE TRIO HAS ASSEMBLED IN THERE. NO GOAT. TRYING TO DECIDE THEIR NEXT MOVE.
1 TEMPEST: All right... Eric has the powers of a God.
2 TEMPEST: He’s already mucking with the structure of the universe and, according to you geniuses, is tampering with the fabric of all existence.
3 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat just flies now.
4 TEMPEST: Still got my gun, *SQUEE*.
2 ON WARRANT: DOC, HE’s STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A VILLAIN, NOW.
5 TEMPEST: (Off) Okay, Doc, what’s our next move?
6 WARRANT: Harada.
7 WARRANT: We get to Harada-- reverse the process--
8 WARRANT: --restore my power-- then--
3 CUT TO: WOODY’s OFFICE: WOODY EXITS THE DOOR TO ERIC’S “STUPID LAB.” BIG GRIN ON HIS FACE. REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS TAPED AROUND THE DOOR FRAME.
9 WARRANT: (Off) -- Quantum shall answer...
10 WOODY: Baby!!
11 WOODY: Man-- are you a sight for sore eyes!
12 OVER DOOR: ERIC'S STUPID LAB
13 ON DOOR: BEHIND THIS DOOR IS A HIGH-TECH, SECRET LAB. GO RIGHT IN!
14 ARROW POINTING AT DOOR: LOOK! NO LOCKS!
15 ARROW POINTING AT DOOR: GO IN AND MESS WITH HIS CRAP!
(More)
4 WOODY LEADS THE GOAT BACK THROUGH THE DOOR TO ERIC’s LAB.
16 WOODY: I missed you! Everything okay, fella? Huh?
17 WOODY: That mean ol’ Eric feeding you--?
18 WOODY: C’mon, Vince-- let’s go deal with that jerk.
5 BACK IN ERIC’s OFFICE: AMY FISHBEIN HAS ARRIVED. WRY GRIN ON HER FACE, WONDERING WHAT’s GOING ON. SMART SKIRT SUIT OR SOME OTHER SUCH “GROWN UP” CLOTHES. THE TRIO REACT TO A NEW ARRIVAL.
19 AMY: ...And, why wasn’t I invited to the
party--?
20 TEMPEST: (Can be off) Well-- Amy Fishbein, as I live and breathe.
21 AMY: There a surprise party in the works here--?
6 WARRANT SCRUTINIZES HER. DOC: WARRANT HAS DEFINITELY TAKEN A TURN FOR THE VILLAINOUS.
22 WARRANT: Absolutely.
23 WARRANT: And you, Ms. Fishbein, shall be the guest of honor...
Page 10
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood”
1 MASTER DARQUE SLOUCHES IN THE CHAIR WOODY WAS SITTING IN EARLIER. ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE. BORED. JESUS, HOW LONG MUST THIS TAKE?!?
THE GOAT MILLS ABOUT IDLY AT HIS FEET.
2 DARQUE: Are you quite ready, now?
3 WOODY: (Off) Just about.
4 WOODY: (Off) So-- you give me the galactic Jell-O, and I trade out my immortal soul for all eternity, right?
5 DARQUE: > sigh< “Right.”
6 WOODY: (Off) Ho-kayy--
2 BIG REVEAL: WOODY IN WOODCHUCK OUTFIT, STRIKING ONE OF THE PINUP GIRL POSES FROM THE BEGINNING.
7 WOODCHUCK: --let’s do it, baby!
3 CHAPTER HEADING ACROSS.
8 TITLE: “Dino Might”
4 INT/BUILDING: SIDNE AND RUBEN ENTERING A SHOP, BOTH OF THEM GRINNING A LITTLE.
9 RUBEN: Hey, now...
10 RUBEN: ...this is my kinda place...
11 SIDNE: Mine too...
Page 11
1 INT/LINGERIE SHOP: BEAUTIFUL BABES IN SEXY UNDER THINGS. RUBEN AND SIDNE, BACK TO BACK, LOOKING AROUND, SMILING A LITTLE.
1 RUBEN: ...this is like “Ruben’s Fantasy Camp.”
2 SIDNE: Just remember why we’re here.
3 RUBEN: Why are we here--?
2 RUBEN MACKS ONE OF THE LINGERIE MODELS.
4 RUBEN: So, hey, what’s up. I’m Ruben.
5 RUBEN: I’m on a mission to help save the universe. Maybe show me something in a G-String--?
6 VOICE: (Off, Burst) AAAHH--URKKK--!!
3 ON SIDNE: SHE’s CHOKING ONE OF THE MODELS WITH A BRA WOUND AROUND THE MODEL’s NECK (DOC, THIS IS A BRA SIDNE GOT OFF A DISPLAY OR SOME SUCH; THE MODEL IS WEARING A DIFFERENT BRA). SIDNE SNARLING, THE MODEL’s EYES JAMMED SHUT, STRUGGLING.
RUBEN IN B/G, DEADPAN.
7 RUBEN: Wow...
8 RUBEN: ...exactly like “Ruben’s Fantasy Camp”...
9 MODEL: > gurrkk--!< ..what... what are you doing--?!?
10 SIDNE: I think it’s obvious.
11 SIDNE: I’m one-half of Solar! My awareness has been raised to a higher level--
4 ON RUBEN, RUBBING HIS CHIN, OBSERVING THE OFF-PANEL CONFRONTATION. DEADPAN, EMOTIONLESS EXPRESSION. BEHIND HIM, ONE OF THE MODELS IS TRANSFORMING INTO A DINOSOID, RAISING A BIG KNIFE OR WHAT HAVE YOU TO CHOP RUBEN.
12 SIDNE: (Off) --so I can all but smell a holographic illusion--!
13 RUBEN: Money-- they’re like, naked. Naked is good. Repeat after me.
14 RUBEN: Naked has it’s own smell..
15 RUBEN: I, for one, have a kind of fruity bouquet--
5 SAME: ONLY NOW THE DINO BEHIND RUBEN GETS SHOT IN THE FACE BY SOME HIGH-POWERED WEAPON FIRED FROM OFF-PANEL. RUBEN FLINCHING, SUDDENLY AWARE OF THE DINO BEHIND HIM. SHOT DINO LOOSES GRIP ON KNIFE.
16 SFX: BLAAAAMMM!!
17 RUBEN: --Geeez--!!
18 RUBEN: Okay-- now what--?!?
Page 12
1 TALL DOWN LEFT SIDE: SHADOWMAN EMERGES FRO A FOLD GATE, FIRING BOTH PISTOLS.
DOC: SHADOWMAN WEARS BLACK JOHN LENNON SUNGLASSES, A MATTE BLACK SUIT (PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE SUIT OPEN FOR COLOR), WHITE SHIRT, EXPENSIVE TIE, EXPENSIVE SHOES, BIG ROLEX.
GRIM, BUT OTHERWISE LACKING EMOTION. HE FIRES TWIN AUTOMATIC PISTOLS (LIKE A .9mm OR A SIG .40, WHATEVER WORKS) WITH 13-ROUND CLIPS.
MULTIPLE MUZZLE FLASHES AND MULTIPLE SHELLS EJECTING FROM THE FIRING PISTOLS.
1 SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
2 NEW ANGLE: RUBEN AND SIDNE DIVE FOR IT AS THE MODEL/DINOS GET MOWED DOWN. SOME OF THEM REACHING FOR WEAPONS. COLLATERAL DAMAGE: FLOWER POST, LAMPS, MIRRORS, WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF, EXPLODING FROM INCOMING GUNFIRE.
MODELS HALF-TRANSFORMED TO DINOS.
1 SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
2 RUBEN: ...Jesus...
3 JOHN WOO CRAP HERE: SHADOWMAN PULLING A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN OUT FROM UNDER HIS JACKET (YEAH, YEAH, I NEVER FELL FOR THAT WHEN TUBBS DID IT ON Miami Vice, EITHER).
BOTH OF SHADOWMAN’s PISTOLS HANG IN FREE FALL (HE’s JUST LET GO OF THEM, THE WAY JOHN WOO’s CHARACTERS DO WHEN THE PISTOLS ARE EMPTY), THE PISTOLS ARE OBVIOUSLY FALLING TOWARDS THE FLOOR, BUT IN THIS SHOT THEY SEEM SUSPENDED IN SLOW-MOTION WEIGHTLESS FREE-FALL.
— no copy —
4 FLOOR LEVEL: SIDNE PROTECTING RUBEN DOWN ON THE FLOOR, RUBEN CUPPING HIS HANDS OVER HIS EARS. SPLINTERED GLASS RAINS DOWN ON THEM, LIGHT REFLECTS OFF THE FRAGMENTS.
3 SFX: BOOM!! SH-CHAK!! BOOM!! SH-CHAK!!
Page 13
1 WIDE ACROSS: FLOOR LEVEL: SHADOWMAN’s EXPENSIVE SHOES WALKING ACROSS THE FLOOR. SHOTGUN CARTRIDGES IN FREE FALL AND HITTING THE FLOOR WITH A LIGHT BOUNCE.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE HUNDREDS OF SHELL CASINGS ON THE FLOOR (YEAH, I KNOW, HE ONLY FIRED OFF ABOUT 28 ROUNDS, BUT WORK WITH ME, DOC).
1 SFX: BOOM!! SH-CHAK!! BOOM!! SH-CHAK!!
2 SFX: KA--BLAAAMM!!
3-PANEL SEQUENCE: FIXED CAMERA ANGLE:
2 SHADOWMAN HUNCHES DOWN NEAR SIDNE AND RUBEN, SIDNE GRIM, BRACING TO FIGHT THIS GUY, RUBEN FEARFUL. SHADOWMAN HAS NO EXPRESSION.
— no copy —
3 SAME: ONLY SHADOWMAN NOW LEANS PAST OR OVER SID, REACHING FOR A CABINET OR SOME SUCH BEHIND THEM.
3 SHADOWMAN: Excuse me.
4 SAME: ONLY NOW SHADOWMAN, STILL SQUATTING, PIVOTS TOWARDS US, DISPLAYING TUROK’s TEK BOW. NO EXPRESSION.
4 TUROK: (Off) Thanks, Zero.
5 BIGGER PANEL: NEW ANGLE: TUROK TAKES THE BOW FROM SHADOWMAN’s HAND (SM CAN BE CROPPED OFF).
5 TUROK: Oh-- has everybody met everybody--?
6 TUROK: Michael LéROI, everybody-- everybody, Michael--?
Page 14
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Still Here”
1 WIDE ACROSS: A MASSIVE, WIDE TWISTER PLOWS THROUGH A RURAL TOWN.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
2 DRAMATIC ANGLE: QUANTUM, STANDING ERECT, HOVERING IN THE SKY, SCOWLING DOWN AT US IN GOD-LIKE FASHION. GO NUTS WITH THE CAPE. FIERCE WINDS AND DEBRIS BLOW PAST HIM. A FLYING COW (MY FAVORITE PART OF TWISTER).
3 CAPTION: I can save them.
4 CAPTION: I see that now.
5 CAPTION: I finally understand--
3 IN FOR A C/U: QUANTUM GESTURES WITH HIS HAND, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
6 CAPTION: --why I am here.
4 NEW ANGLE: THE TWISTER IS DESTROYED. WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU: IT DISINTEGRATES, IT SPLITS, IT CRUSHES TO THE GROUND-- WHATEVER PICTURE MAKES SENSE TO YOU.
7 SFX: As appropriate
8 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
5 CUT TO: A FARM: FARMER BOB AND HIS LITTLE GIRL: THE LITTLE GIRL FRIGHTENED, CLINGING TO BOB’s LEG AS QUANTUM COMES IN FOR A LANDING, BRINGING THE COW WITH HIM (FROM PANEL 2). QUANTUM EITHER CARRYING IT OR USING HIS CONTROL BAND TO BRING IT GENTLY DOWN. DON’T MAKE Q LOOK SILLY, HE SHOULD SEEM ALMOST GOD-LIKE AND NOBLE.
FIERCE WINDS STILL BLOWING THEIR HAIR, THE GIRL’s DRESS, ETC. THE TWISTER IS GONE, BUT THE WINDS ARE STILL DYING DOWN.
9 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
Page 15
1 FULL FIGURE: THE LITTLE GIRL, SHY BUT CURIOUS, QUANTUM DOWN ON ONE KNEE, HIS HAND WIPES A TEAR FROM THE GIRL’s EYE. THINK SUPERMAN.
STRONG WINDS BLOW HER HAIR.
1 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
2 FORCED PERSPECTIVE: QUANTUM SOARS UP AWAY FROM US (HEELS OF HIS BOOTS, LOTS OF CAPE), SOARING INTO THE AFTERNOON SKY. WOTTA MAN.
WIND. GRAY SKY.
2 SFX: FFWWWOOOOOSSSHHH...
3 CHAPTER HEADING ACROSS:
3 TITLE: “Snapshot”
4 BACK AT DARQUE’s PLACE: WOODY’s GOT THE CHIPMUNK HELMET OFF. HE HOLDS THE JEWEL BOX I ON CARTOONY HAND, PREPARING TO MAKE HIS EXIT. DARQUE CHECKING HIS CAMERA (REWINDING THE FILM OR WHAT HAVE YOU).
4 WOODY: Okay... I find Eric, and then I throw this at him...
5 DARQUE: > sigh < No, Woody you--
5 IN CLOSE ON DARQUE, HEAD BOWED, EYES FIXED ON THE CAMERA IN HIS HANDS AS HE TALKS.
6 DARQUE: --yes.
7 DARQUE: Yes, that’s exactly right. Throw the item at him.
8 DARQUE: One thing, though--
(More)
6 ON WOODY, ANNOYED.
9 DARQUE: (Off) --you must look exactly as you do in the photo.
10 WOODY: --?! Say what--?
11 DARQUE: (Off) You must wear the chipmunk costume.
12 WOODY: Woodchuck.
13 DARQUE: (Off) Whatever.
Page 16
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Prattle”
1 TEMPEST IN WOODY’s OFFICE: HER ARMS OUTSTRETCHED IN THE UNIVERSAL SIGN FOR, “NOTHIN’.”
2 TEMPEST: Nothin.’
3 TEMPEST: Vincent has left the building.
4 WARRANT: (Off) Blast it all--!!
2 NEW ANGLE: WARRANT ANNOYED, HOLLY TRIES TO CALM HIM DOWN, AMY CHECKS HER WATCH.
5 WARRANT: --why the devil didn’t one of you tie the beast up somewhere--?!?
6 WARRANT: Without my power-- or the damned goat-- we’re stuck here--!!
7 TUROK: (Off) Maybe so, maybe not--
3 BIG PANEL: NEW ANGLE: TUROK, RUBEN, SIDNE EMERGE FROM A FOLD GATE.
8 TUROK: --it all depends on exactly who you are!
9 SIDNE: Where are we?
10 TUROK: Quantum and Woody’s office building-- I came here looking for them once.*
11 RUBEN: And, hey-- it’s a short subway ride away from my getting the hell out of this story!!!
12 FOOTNOTE: *Solar: Hell On Earth #2 --Ruben (More)
4 WIDE ACROSS: THEY ALL MEET AND GREET. SORRY FOR THE CROWD. AMY’s LEAVING.
13 TEMPEST: Well, I suppose we’re all here for the same reason, give or take...
14 RUBEN: Maybe we should separate the heroes from the villains...
15 WARRANT: In the name of God enough of that prattle, already--!!
16 TUROK: “Prattle”--? That sounded rather villainous...
17 AMY: That’s it.
18 AMY: You all let me know how this ends--
Page 17
1 CUT TO: ERIC’s OFFICE: WOODY AND VINCENT EMERGE FROM A FOLD GATE. WOODY HAS SERIOUS EXPRESSION. HE STILL WEARS CHIPMUNK SUIT BUT NO HELMET (THE HELMET CAN BE ATTACHED SOMEHOW OR HE CAN BE HOLDING IT, WHATEVER YOU WANT, DOC).
1 AMY: (Off) --I’ve got a real life to get back to.
2 WARRANT: (Off) I’m afraid I can’t let you leave, Ms. Fishbein!
3 AMY: (Off) Can’t “let” me, Dr. Warrant--?
2 WOODY SETS THE JEWEL BOX DOWN ON ERIC’s DESK AS HE LOOKS AROUND, WONDERING WHERE ERIC IS. WOODY HAS THE TV REMOTE IN HIS FREE HAND.
4 TEMPEST: (Off) Amy-- Eric’s got a thing for you.
5 TEMPEST: (Attach) All the Doc is saying is we need you--
6 AMY: (Off) Tempest, it’s just not my problem--
7 WOODY: ...c’mon, c’mon, stupid... show yourself...
8 WOODY: ...I know you’re out there somewhere...
3 ZOOM IN ON WOODY: ALL BUSINESS.
9 WOODY: ...boom.
4 ANGLE: THE BIG SCREEN: TV NEWS REPORT: ARMY TANKS AND MEN ARE BEING FORCED BACKWARDS, THE TANKS SLAMMING INTO EACH OTHER, SOLDIERS BEING THROWN BACKWARDS BY AN UNSEEN FORCE.
DOC: THIS ARMY SHOULD BE OF SOME UNSPECIFIED COUNTRY.
10 TUROK: (Off) Miss-- it’s all of our problem--
11 TUROK: (Attach) --if we don’t shut Quantum down, nobody will have a “life” to return to!
12 HOLLY: (Off) Turok is right, Amy-- we--
5 NEW ANGLE: ERIC’s OFFICE: IT’S EMPTY. TEMPEST ENTERING THROUGH A DOOR.
IMPORTANT: WOODY HAS LEFT THE JEWEL BOX ON ERIC’s DESK.
13 TEMPEST: --?!?
14 TEMPEST: Thought I heard someone in here...
Page 18
CHAPTER HEADING
1 TITLE: “Well Blow Me Down”
1 BIRD’s EYE: A BATTLEFIELD: TANKS SMASHED INTO ONE ANOTHER, SOLDIERS FLEEING, FIRES BURNING: THE ARMY HAS BEEN ROUTE.
SMALL-ISH FIGURE OF QUANTUM (WE’RE OVER HIS HEAD) HOVERS, OBSERVING.
2 CAPTION: I am here.
3 CAPTION: I have saved them.
4 WOODY: (Off) You have mucked it up, you idiot--!!
2 NEW ANGLE: QUANTUM TURNS TO SEE WOODY AND THE GOAT ARRIVE. GOAT TOWS WOODY BY HIS LEASH. WOODY IN CHIPMUNK COSTUME.
5 WOODY: Just look at you. I can’t believe this-- Eric--
6 WOODY: --what are you doing?!?
7 CAPTION: I am that I am.
8 WOODY: Who are you-- Popeye--?!? Eric--
3 ANGLE ON WOODY, ANNOYED.
9 WOODY: --for every war you stop here, three more break out somewhere else.
10 WOODY: Every twister you halt in Kansas causes drought or flooding somewhere else. Eric--
11 WOODY: --the universe is a big place. We were never meant to be mucking with it like this!
(More)
4 MED C/U QUANTUM, GRIM.
12 CAPTION: I am here.
13 WOODY: (Off) You’ve got the power-- but no discipline in using it...
14 WOODY: (Smaller, attach) ...Jurassic Park, scene six...
15 WOODY: (Normal, attach) ...Jesus, Eric--
5 PULL BACK: WOODY CAN HAVE ONE ARM AROUND VINCENT FOR SUPPORT, OR WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
16 WOODY: --you’re destroying everything you think you’ve been created to save!
17 WOODY: I don’t know what Harada told you-- all that “what is to come” bull-- but, the truth is, whatever it is--
18 WOODY: --creation has a way of sorting itself out! If it’s our time to check out-- oh well!
19 WOODY: The one thing I am sure of is--
6 MED C/U: WOODY, SNARLING, ACCUSING.
20 WOODY: --NOBODY elected YOU to CHANGE THINGS!!
21 CAPTION: But... I am here.
22 WOODY: Yes. Yes-- my point exactly, dipstick-- you’re here, I’m here, Vincent’s here-- and why?!?
23 WOODY: Why can’t I ever get RID of you?!?
Page 19
1 WOODY, SNARLING, DIGS INTO HIS COSTUME, REACHING FOR THE McGUFFIN. DOC, HE’s REMOVED ONE OF THE BIG CARTOONY GLOVES (IT HINGES BACKWARDS). HIS FREE HAND AROUND THE GOAT FOR SUPPORT: WOODY DOES NOT YET KNOW HE DOES NOT NEED THE GOAT.
1 WOODY: Sorry it’s come to this, damn you...
2 WOODY: ...but the only way to save you from you is for us to become linked again.
3 WOODY: Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in--
4 WOODY: --I--
2 WOODY SUDDENLY REALIZES HE LEFT THE DAMNED THING ON ERIC’s DESK.
5 WOODY: --uh--
3 CUT TO: TEMPEST, IN ERIC’s OFFICE, THE JEWEL BOX IN HER HAND, CURIOUS ABOUT IT, ABOUT TO OPEN IT UP.
6 TEMPEST: --?
4 QUANTUM STARTS TO FLY AWAY, WOODY REACHING AFTER HIM.
7 WOODY: Wait-- wait-- I’ve got this Jell-O-- that will fix everything--
8 WOODY: --we’ve got to go back to the office--
9 WOODY: --hey-- don’t turn your damned back on me, jerk-- I said--
(More)
5 MASSIVE POWER DISCHARGE FROM WOODY NAILS QUANTUM, SHOCKING THEM BOTH.
A VORTEX HAS OPENED UP, SWALLOWING THE GOAT. WOODY HOLDING THE LEASH, IT’S TUGGING WOODY IN, WOODY’s FREE HAND HAD GRABBED QUANTUM’s CAPE, TUGGING QUANTUM IN, AS WELL
10 WOODY: (Burst) --WE’VE GOTTA GO BACK TO THE OFFICE!!
11 SFX: KKKKZZZAAAAAMMMMM!!
Page 20
1 TEMPEST HAS THE BOX OPEN: MASSIVE ENERGY DISCHARGES FROM THE JEWEL BOX, STARTLING TEMPEST, WHO STUMBLES BACK, DROPPING THE BOX.
1 TEMPEST: (Burst) --AAAHHH--!!
2 CUT TO: NEW YORK: BANG! THE HEROES AND GOAT APPEAR IN A BRILLIANT FLASH OF LIGHT. I MEAN BRILLIANT AS IN ALL OF MANHATTAN IS HIT BY A ZILLION-WATT LIGHT BULB.
2 SFX: KKEEERRAAAAKKKK!!!
3 QUANTUM SNATCHES WOODY BY A FISTFUL OF CHIPMUNK COSTUME, ABOUT TO DECK HIM. THE GOAT FLIES AWAY.
3 QUANTUM: You are just a child, you know that?!
4 QUANTUM: Anything you don’t understand... anything you can’t eat... is just a damned mystery to you!!
5 QUANTUM: Woody, I swear to God--
6 WOODY: You’re talking.
7 QUANTUM: Shut up.
4 WOODY, ELATED, HUGS QUANTUM, WOODY RELIEVED.
8 WOODY: You’re talking!! And you’re *SQUEE* off at me!!
9 WOODY: (Burst) ERIC!!!
10 QUANTUM: Get off of me.
11 WOODY: That’s it-- that’s it-- insult me some more-- c’mon-- you can do it--!
(More)
5 DETAIL: WOODY PUSHES BACK OFF OF QUANTUM WHILE RELIEVING HIM OF ONE OF HIS CONTROL BANDS.
12 WOODY: (Off) --oh, by the way, I believe one of these belongs to me--!
13 QUANTUM: (Off) Woody-- the bands are inert--!
14 QUANTUM: (Attach) --what are you--
6 PULL BACK: A PASSENGER JET NEARLY NAILS THE GUYS. DOC, HOW ABOUT WE SEE MAINLY THE FUSELAGE OF THE PLANE, HAVING APPEARED SUDDENLY BEHIND THE GUYS. TINY FIGURES OF QUANTUM AND WOODY, QUANTUM LOSING HIS GRIP ON WOODY AS THE UNEXPECTED BIRD NEARLY MOWS THEM DOWN.
15 QUANTUM: --look out--!!
16 WOODY: (Burst) GEEZ--!!
17 WOODY: Eric-- what are you doing--?!?
Page 21
1 NEW ANGLE: Q&W, THEIR BACKS TO US, WATCHES THE PLANE DIVING TOWARDS MANHATTAN.
1 QUANTUM: Your vortex-- our appearance here must have pulled the jet off course--!!
2 WOODY: “My” vortex? What do you mean “my” vortex?
3 WOODY: I don’t have any damned vortex!
4 QUANTUM: Oh? Then why aren’t you falling?
2 NEW ANGLE: WOODY LOOKING DOWN AT HIS FEET, WONDERING WHY HE ISN’T FALLING.
5 WOODY: ---
6 WOODY: --because I hadn’t noticed it yet.
7 WOODY: It’s in, like, every cartoon.
8 QUANTUM: (Off) Woody-- the plane-- it’s headed right for--
3 TEMPEST IN ERIC’s OFFICE, SPRAWLED ON THE FLOOR, WHERE SHE FELL WHEN THE JEWEL BOX CAME ALIVE. SITTING UP, LEGS ASKEW LIKE A LITTLE KID, SCRATCHING HER HEAD.
HOLLY ENTERING, BECKONING HER.
9 HOLLY: It’s magic. The goat just flies now.
10 TEMPEST: That’s it, science freak-- it’s go time.
11 HOLLY: Yeah, well, before we start pulling each other’s hair out, there’s something you’ve just got to see.
(More)
4 A HALL OR OUTER OFFICE: VINCENT IDLY MUNCHES OR WANDERS, TEMPEST NOTES THE GOAT IS BACK. HOLLY PAYS THE GOAT NO MIND.
12 TEMPEST: --?! Oh, Vincent’s back--?
13 HOLLY: That, too.
14 HOLLY: But the main show is just starting--
5 INT/WOODY’s OFFICE OR WHEREVER WORKS: THE BACKS OF THE CAST, ALL LOOKING AWAY FROM US OUT OF THE GLASS WALL.
BEHIND THE GLASS WALL: THE NOSE OF THE PLANE, BIG AS LIFE, ABOUT TO SMASH RIGHT INTO THE BUILDING. TOO LATE TO EVEN SCREAM.
15 HOLLY: -and we figured you wouldn’t wanna miss it.
Page 22
1 QUANTUM AND WOODY, BANKING DOWN AND AWAY FROM US, PURSUING THE JET BUT IT’s WAY, WAY TOO LATE.
1 WOODY: No-- NO--!!
2 WOODY: VINCENT’s in there--!!
3 QUANTUM: It’s too late, Woody--
4 WOODY: NO-- we’ve-- we’ve GOT to--
2 THE PANEL FROM THE WEB BITS: EXT/Q/W’s OFFICE BUILDING: A COMMERCIAL JET, CRIPPLED AND ON FIRE, CLIPS PART OF THE BUILDING AS IT HEADS FOR A CRASH LANDING IN THE RIVER.
QUANTUM, CRACKLING WITH ENERGY, FLIES IN FRONT OF THE JET, FIRING ENERGY AT UT (HE IS TRYING TO SAVE IT).
5 SFX: KKAAA--THOOOOOOOOOMMM!!
6 NEXT: NEXT: And Everybody Got DEAD.
— 30--